January 27, 2019 at 2:58 pm #4224
Week two: Listening and Caring Chapters 2 and 8
What a profound book and what a ‘pearl of great price’ it is when we have someone to listen to us as the author describes and to be such a listener for others. Jesus, is THE Pearl of Great Price, and in Him we are also called to be that for one another.
“Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear?” Mark 8:18 It takes a lot of love and care, awareness of one’s own story and an understanding of our human condition. I guess my loss of hearing and hearing aide can be a metaphor. I’ve always seen my loss of hearing as a disability but also as a gift as it helps me to listen more intensely and thus seen myself as a ‘good listener’. But in reading this book, I am realizing all that is involved in skilled listening! And, how much I need to learn and to practice to really be a skilled listener.
Page 100: Am pondering how “the story is the container which hold the truth of the unconscious’ “Story listening is not learned quickly. It takes many hours of practice, but I urge you to try it. It can change your life” I would say it takes more than many hours of practice!
Getting in touch with my own story, my own wounds, and our human condition. For me, that happens especially in spiritual direction, counseling, and a trusted friend. Being in touch with that ‘primordial wound’ which affects so much of my behavior. We all have that wound. A skilled listener can help me surface that wound and help me connect to the true essence of who I am in God’s eyes and heart.
CPE helped in this and it is forever on-going as I live life and encounter others. I learned from the concept of counterstory. That happened as I read the dialogue between Bill and John on page 33. His feeling that others were avoiding him and that Georgia had turned the others against him. Brought up the relationship with my co-worker who would get up and leave the room if I entered or would not enter if I were there. But is perceived the action as a rejection of me rather than an avoidance.
Page 96-97: Jack’s story triggered my counterstory. He becomes my therapist making me aware of my own story which still needs working on! And, I know it does! And, I am working on it in spiritual direction. Right now, it feels like the “The Thorn In The Flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) that St. Paul talks about that I have to live with. I don’t think we really know what the ‘thorn in the flesh was for Paul. I wonder if it was his relationship with Barnabas??? I may have to be at peace that my relationship with this person may never be resolved but I pray that not be so because we are both good people, and probably acting out of the primordial wound.
Question I would have asked George: (page 34)
G: “ I’m not sure what I am doing that the others do not want to cooperate with me”
Me. George, are you really seeing the whole picture? I can identify with your feeling that they are avoiding you but I wonder if it could be that maybe Georgia and the others have not done their ‘homework’ yet? I wonder if it is their responsibility that they are avoiding rather than you?
The reflection of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemene was profound “If you are to know the power of new life (resurrection), of putting away the old and taking on the new, then it is necessary to enter the pain of your life, wrestle with it, and let it be your teacher. Jesus explicitly did not want to enter the pain of the cross. He asked God if there was any way out of ‘drinking the cup’. The response was an implied “No”. Thus the cross is one of the most important models of human life ever revealed. If you want to become well and be renewed, you must enter the pain of your life, not avoid it. Trusting that pain is always difficult. It always has been, and always will be. “Narrow is the gate and few there are to find it” Take up your cross and follow.
“As a caring listener, you not only will work hard at listening to another, but you will be in touch with yourself. By knowing something of your own story, you will be able to be present appropriately with those for whom you are caring”…..an awesome mission we have.
January 29, 2019 at 9:27 am #4232
Thanks you for your insights and transparency. Being aware that others stories can take us places in our spirit and that our in process journey might give insight into their in process journey. My dad died when I was almost two. I carried that subconscious grief for along time. I love flea markets, garage sales, estate sales, etc. I love looking at old stuff and realized somewhere in my adulthood that [art of me was trying to connect to my dad. During CPE, my colleagues help me organize a memorial service for my father. It was incredible healing. it has become part of the fabric of my healing presence. Your mention of the importance of suffering and Jesus’ suffering brings to mind St. Paul in 2 Cor. 1:3-6. <span class=”passage-display-bcv”>2 Corinthians 1:3-6</span> <span class=”passage-display-version”>New International Version (NIV)</span>
<h3><span id=”en-NIV-28804″ class=”text 2Cor-1-3″>Praise to the God of All Comfort</span></h3>
<span class=”text 2Cor-1-3″><sup class=”versenum”>3 </sup>Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,</span> <span id=”en-NIV-28805″ class=”text 2Cor-1-4″><sup class=”versenum”>4 </sup>who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.</span> <span id=”en-NIV-28806″ class=”text 2Cor-1-5″><sup class=”versenum”>5 </sup>For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.</span> <span id=”en-NIV-28807″ class=”text 2Cor-1-6″><sup class=”versenum”>6 </sup>If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer</span>
February 1, 2019 at 9:20 pm #4280
Thanks Wally! What a profound realization that enjoying looking at old things was your unconscious way of connecting with your dad who died when you were only two yrs. old. and how sensitive your CPE colleagues were to your grief and helped you put together a memorial service for your dad. And how that helped. The importance of ritual.
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