Hi Paul,

As I was reading your post it was interesting to me because I would begin a thought process with regards to how you should handle your struggle with leaving work at work, and then almost immediately after thinking it, you would mention it yourself.  You are absolutely spot on that it comes down to boundaries and protocol.  I’m sorry that people around you don’t seem to honor or respect these boundaries and protocols set in place.  Having worked in places with similar situations (not of being on call, but of people not respecting boundaries, etc.), the ultimate solution typically has been to simply allow the process to work itself out.  That is, when you’re not on call, you’re not on call, so turn off the pager (as you indicated that you’ve done once or twice in the past).  At first you’ll get flack for it (because you’ve essentially trained them to be lazy and call you instead of following protocol), but eventually once they figure out that you’re serious and you won’t answer your calls, then they’ll stop complaining, they’ll stop giving you flack, and they’ll learn the “new” procedure (which of course isn’t a new procedure at all).  It is difficult, but something you have to do, because if something happens to you and your health, they’re going to have to learn to cope without you anyway…. Why not let them do it now that you’re relatively healthy and available?  As every flight attendant ever always says, “Please secure your own oxygen mask before attempting to help someone else with theirs.”