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You haven’t lost me and suspect others will want to make final comments in response to your provocative questions and challenges above.
I had prostate cancer and the radiation seed implant several years ago that was scary in the middle of it. I had a retinal detachment a few years ago and after a month had to have a second surgery because the first surgery didn’t hold. Consequently, I was blind in one eye for a period of time and there was some question about whether or not I would regain any eyesight in that eye. My dad was an alcoholic during my formative years causing much chaos in our family. My son was lost in addiction for 12 years before getting sober. As mentioned earlier, I went through a painful divorce many years ago. There have been several major challenges in my professional career. And I could go on. In the middle of those, I can’t say I was aware of learning stuff. I was overwhelmed with dealing with my feelings and coping. BUT, after these events, I was able to reflect, utilize therapy, spiritual direction and meditation to learn much that has made me stronger, more insightful and more helpful to others going through tough times. I agree with the author, it is important to deal with the feelings as they come up but remind ourselves that this too will pass.
This leads me to the second question you raise. I used to feel bad that I felt bad and I still have some of that. But through the years, I have come to accept those times, embrace it, share it, process it, and let it go.
I preach this Sunday, So I will accept your challenge to preach on the topic of building resilience. I have been at my little, rural church for 11 years and during that time have conducting the funerals of many older members. Obviously, these were folks who were loved ones of persons we still have actively involved.
Thank you, Trish, for leading us through this discussion. I hope others will post their final thoughts. The book was a great read. It was a wonderful mix of the personal story supported by research citations. I have been emersed in reading the research on resilience in the aftermath of trauma. This book and discussion have fit in with that journey.