I really appreciate how you differentiate between natural and normal. This is something I want to be intentional about changing in my practice. Normal really is relative and an constantly changing measurment. Natural seems so much more secure and comforting.
I had not consciously thought about smells and such being grief triggers, thank you for that. One thing that we have discovered for several years that was a grief trigger for our daughter was the start of school. For several years after the loss of our second pregnancy the start of school and seeing the older kids bringing their younger siblings to school was a very visible reminder that she was not the big sister (at least not in the way we had anticipated) she had thought she was going to be. Helping a 6 -7 year old grieve loss of role is hard.