#5478

Trish Matthews
Moderator
@TrishMatthews

Thanks for your reflections, Tommy and Donna.  I agree that sometimes just to name that his is awful, horrible – to acknowledge the “suck” – is the best response to a tragedy.  I have heard people diagnosed with cancer say that the most helpful thing anyone said to them is along the lines of “Cancer Sucks.”  Losing a parent to suicide – there are no words, are there Tommy?  But to remain in the game, to stay with you, to deal with your own discomfort in order to be there for the person with the loss – that is what ultimately matters.  Sandberg had many who came around her in her time of loss.  Sometimes, in our desire to say just the right thing, we miss the opportunity to say what is really in our heart.  What we are feeling.  Like – I have no idea what to say, but I am in this with you.  Like – This is awful.  Like – I am so sorry you are having to go through this.  Like not saying let me know if you need anything but actually doing something – anything.  I heard Kate Bowler say that she once was told that someone was in the lobby of the hospital for the next hour and was offering a hug, if that was needed.  I love that!  As Donna so well said, grace in the moment.

Happy Sunday,

Trish