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Rick Underwood


I am here and I think Melanie is planning on sharing some of her reflections. I’ll have to check with Dale and see if he is ok.

I agree with you that our thinking and feeling have to go together to make a full spiritual connection as well as understanding something of the beliefs or thoughts that drive those feelings.  As a pastoral counselor through the years, I have found it helpful to determine whether persons or more cognitive / thinking or feeling in their approach to problem-solving.  If they tend to be more thinking, I would ask feeling questions or if they were more feeling / emotional, I would ask more thinking questions. Using different language seemed to be helpful to folks.  For example, a person might describe an event or events in concrete terms and I would reflect that back to make sure I was hearing correctly and then I might ask, “I hear that fine description, but I wonder how you are feeling about that?”  Many times with couples, one was more feeling and the other more thinking.  It was always helpful to enable the one who was more thinking to turn in and hear the other’s feelings and visa versa.  I remember early in my marriage, I would listen to the feelings my wife was expressing and was thinking, how can I help her solve this problem?  Finally, one day she said I don’t need advice about how to solve the problem, I just need to know you understand how I feel.  Boom! What recognition!

As I read the article, I couldn’t help but think about the good work that Jung and disciples did with temperament.  I am an Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving type and my wife is an Introvert, Sensate, Feeling, Judging type.  Discussions about our similarities and differences in communication have been extremely useful.

Even in brief encounters in the hospital, focusing on feelings seems helpful to folks.  Most of the medical professionals focus on the facts of the medical problem and how to solve them.

Another thought I had while reading the article was the fact that it is easier to get with someone in relation to their feelings.  We only have 7 or 8  different feeling categories with variations.  On the other hand, there are thousands of ideas/thoughts, analysis of things in life.

I would like to hear any response to my thoughts as well as more of your thought about the article.  Additionally, I would enjoy hearing your feeling responses to what I have written or to the article.