Oh yes Melanie, the movement from surface to safe deeper space is so hard – even with out the layer of sexual orientation. The dynamic you describe can happen in any pt relationship that is being initiated, but when dealing with LGBTQ+ you are correct there is always the concern of getting stuck at the surface of the space.
You raise an important part about ways for chaplains to identify themselves as an ally. If I am honest I am struggling with how to do this. There are strong feelings on this topic in my area still, I find I encounter many who are very conservative when it comes to this topic. For a while I wore a rainbow bracelet (because that is what I had on hand at the time) that my daughter made me on her rainbow loom until the rubber bands wore out and the bracelet broke. The bracelet I felt was the best I could do as we are strongly encouraged not to put anything on our badges at work. May be time for me to have her make me another one and I wrestling with if that is enough or if I need to take courage to buck the system and put something on my badge reel. Processing here and I hope that is ok.