Lori Casey BSN MDiv., BCC-PCHAC
Thank you Carolyn for sharing the story of your daughter and her preferences in the funeral/time of grief. You are right, each child is unique and discerning what will make them most comfortable is essential. I loved what you wrote concerning rituals, “One size does not fit all.” Dierdre, what a lovely gift your daughter gave to your mother in playing her flute- as well as the movement it provided towards saying the final goodbye. I am so glad you created the safe place for children/teens to interact in the face of divorce. Dierdre, seeing loved ones in the coffin is overwhelming for many people. I have seen people faint and/or became physically affected at the visitation if the coffin is open. And I too agree, what a lovely and wise accommodation to have that swing available. When my own grandmother died, I remember walking into the funeral home and wandering into several rooms looking for her. Although no one in the coffins looked like her, I was assured by the funeral director that the body in one of the rooms was, indeed, my grandmother. Terrible make up and of course she had dwindled- but I remember feeling shock and nausea. For people with no faith tradition and limited funds, their resources for helping their children and themselves through grief may be minimal. I know that many Hospices offer counselors/counseling specifically for children, but I’m unsure about any community financial aid (?) for a licensed children’s counselor.