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Carolyn Osoinach

Rick and Lori,

Great to get the chatting going!  Lori, I hope your eye is much better today – it sounds like a very painful experience yesterday!

I also really loved the words at the end of the first section of the article – there are no books, no magic, no right words to say – it is the trying and the wanting to help and the willingness to listen that conveys such a depth of security, even in the midst of grief.  So many people want the right answers, the magic wand, in part to help the person they love that is grieving (especially a child) and in part because they are anxious and uncomfortable.  I am always on alert for the crazy but well-meant comments like the ones Lori and I mentioned.  One thing I have found that has helped adults be more comfortable with being honest and frank (vs. talking in euphemisms) is to ask them if they really think that their child/loved one doesn’t understand at some level what is going on, doesn’t have thoughts and feelings that they would like or need to process – parents often end up realizing that they are anxious and trying to protect themselves.  It is just a hard situation for everyone!